B-log

Here’s the manuscript for the message I shared at the memorial of my dear friend, Chris LeFevre. Please be sure to read the postscript at the end.

***

As with many of you, I am proud to say that Chris was my friend. I met Chris when, in the 4^th grade, my family moved, which caused me to switch schools from East Elementary to Sunset Elementary. Somehow, I linked up with Troy & Chris. Their epic foot race to determine the fastest kid at Sunset Elementary had already been run, and they had formed a friendship alliance that never wavered. In a lot of ways, I could have been the “third wheel,” but to their credit, they welcomed me in and we all became close friends.

My early memories of Chris include him always having the newest, coolest video games but always being willing to let us play. We’d pile up in his bedroom, loading up his waterbed and taking turns playing games. Gramma (Dorothy) was worried we were going to make that bed burst, but Chris always made sure we emptied our pockets of pencils, forks, sticks, knives, or anything sharp.

In Middle school, his lunches always included Pringles and Beef Jerky. Somehow, this exotic cuisine made him the envy of everyone. Chris shrewdly negotiated for the best food in the lunchroom using these precious commodities.

Chris was always one of the fastest kids in the class, but I remember that Chris hurt his knees and had to have surgery. And rather than it sidelining him, after his surgeries, he’d hobble out to the football fields in his leg brace and crutches and play defensive line, batting down the passes of the other team during our lunchtime games.

As we got older, the memories are ironically a little more vague but a lot more precious. Too many weekends to count, we all were together…Bevr with Meaty, Rusty, Brad, Rollie, Fred, and myself. We always knew how to find a good time…out at Shad’s house, Amy’s property, sometimes it was a hotel room, or some stranger’s residence, sometimes out on the rocks behind my house. I now understand that it wasn’t the location…it was the company. And those times, no matter where we were, they were always filled with laughter. Simply put, those days were carefree and perfect.

The years passed and we grew up. And as we all know, growing up means that days are no longer carefree, and once they are no longer carefree, they are rarely perfect. Despite it all his own difficulties and trials, Chris remained a loving husband, a dedicated father, a professional worker, and a good friend. And in this moment, it has encouraged my heart to know that throughout his life, Chris retained those incredible characteristics that caused everyone to quickly become his friend and want to spend time with him. All of us were better…richer…blessed for having Chris in our lives.

It has been said that memorials such as this are for the living. And we know that to be true even as we gather today to reconcile our own emotions and grief. We have come together to look back and reflect on the beautiful life of Chris…who was a husband, a dad, a son, a grandson, a nephew, an uncle, a co-worker, and a friend. But we also look forward looking for hope as we try to figure out what life is supposed to look like with this sudden void, this unexpected hole in our lives that is here because of Chris’s death.

This time is bittersweet because with his passing, every one of us is confronted with our own mortality. And in the perspective of the reality of our mortality, we come face to face with what we believe about life and death. We all come to our beliefs differently. Some of us form our beliefs internally…we build opinions about certain matters that we hold dear,opinions that are shaped by our own experiences, perceptions, or dispositions. Other of us have beliefs that are shaped by external sources - outside factors that influence or even change our opinions because they offer objective considerations that we hadn’t previously taken in to account. 

In a crowd like this, we likely have many different beliefs and I won’t presume that you necessarily believe what I believe. And that’s okay. What I want to share with you briefly from an external source that has not changed in its history. This source is the Bible, and this resource makes the audacious claim that it accurately declares what God wants you to know about himself. In sharing this with you, I am praying that you will have fresh hope about God’s love for Chris, and just as importantly, God’s love for you.

I want you to know is that God is very concerned that you believe the right things…about him, about yourself, and about his love for you.  There is a book of the Bible called “John” that was written specifically for this purpose. In fact, in Chapter 20, verse 31, which is at the end of the book, John writes, “but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”

God wants you to believe the right things about Jesus, and that by doing so…you may have life in his name.

That’s a pretty huge thing…this “life in his name,” that you can really only appreciate if you know what John’s talking about. Thankfully, he explains it at the beginning of the book that he wrote. And that’s the second thing I want to share with you…God wants you to believe in Jesus as the source of true, everlasting life.

Here’s what the Scripture says in the very first chapter of John, in verse 12: “But to all who did receive Jesus, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”

To recap: God wants you to believe in Jesus so that you can have life, and also, that in doing so, you can relate to God as his much beloved child.

There’s a lot of confusion about Jesus today, and I don’t want to presume that you know the real deal. He’s misrepresented a lot. So I want you to know that Jesus was never confused about himself, no matter what you have heard. Here’s just a little of what he said about himself…these are all recorded from the book of John:

• Whoever believes in the son has eternal life. (3:36)
• Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. (5:24) 
• Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (11:24-25) 
• I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness. (12:46) 
• “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. (14:1) 

Do you see that God wants you to “get this?” He wants you to understand. He wants you to believe, so that you may live.  In fact, he summarizes it in John 3:16, which may be the most popular verse in all the Bible:

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 

You see…it’s not about church.  It’s not about money. It’s not even about religion. It’s not about doing enough “good things,” or staying away from enough “bad things.” From God’s perspective, it’s all about believing the right things about Jesus, in terms of trusting in God and depending on God and staking your life on God because he loves you and he wants you to live as his child…because he loves you.

 Friends, this is the best message of hope that I have because it is the greatest message of hope available. God loves you. He wants you to believe in him and his love for you shown through Jesus.

 Chris and I never had a conversation about belief. My hope is that Chris had this beautiful belief in God. And I can tell you with great certainty that if Chris could speak one word to you right now, that word would be “Believe!” I am certain that Chris would not want you to leave here today without this matter settled in your spirit. I’m convinced because of what I know about God and what I know about Chris that he would not want you to leave here today in either doubt or unbelief. Because Chris loves you and because God loves you, the most hopeful, hope-filled thing you could do is to believe in Jesus.

We all came in here at different points but we are at a common crossroad…a decision point about whether or not to believe. For some of you, you already believe this, and I’ve affirmed what you already believed. For others, this is new…perhaps completely contradictory to what you’ve believed until now. Some of you will resist or reject this message of hope and hold on to what you currently believe. I understand that and I respect that. Others of you, though, have heard this message of hope and have a change of mind about what you believe. I encourage you to believe your new beliefs and doubt your old doubts, rather than doubting your beliefs and believing your doubts. Believe that God loves you. Hold on to that belief with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, all your strength.

 From this common crossroad, we will move forward in our own directions. We will hold Chris in our thoughts and warmly regard him in our hearts. We will cherish our beautiful perfect moments…the camping and fishing trips, the campfire laughter, his generous spirit and easy, contagious grin. While we all wish we could pause at a perfect moment and remain there, time marches ever forward, and we move forward with it, hopefully with fresh hope and new believe in the overwhelming love of God.

My prayer for each of you is that you will remember Chris at his best, that you will be quick and gracious to forgive him wherever forgiveness is needed, that you will take the time to thank God for the time you were blessed to spend with Chris, and that you will embrace the belief that God loves you with a deep, wide, vast, immeasurable eternal love and is calling out to you even today to live in that love and believe.

***

On Sunday after the memorial, I received an email from Chris’s aunt. She wrote:

I wanted to fill you in too that I didn’t have a “spiritual’ conversation with Chris per se, but when he was in South Fork, when things were really falling apart with Jenny, I talked to him on the phone and encouraged him to get in touch with someone at a church who could minister to him & listen, & give him HOPE. He followed through and a couple guys came over. He later told me, he accepted Christ and within the same week or so got baptized. He did in fact believe and was saved.

God is great in his love, grace and mercy. His saving grace was sufficient the exact moment that Chris first believed. God’s mercy is greater that Chris’s worst decision and lowest point. Nothing can separate Chris from God’s love…not the events of December 17, nor nothing forevermore. Because of God’s awesome love, Chris is alive now and forever in the presence of God, through his simple faith in Jesus as Lord.

What a difference a year makes.

Last Christmas, we were eight months into unemployment, living on my retirement savings. We were on a restricted budget to stretch our resources as long as possible. In many ways, it could have been a season marked by how poor we suddenly found ourselves, full of disappointment with the awareness of what we didn’t have.

It turned out to be one of the most special Christmases our family ever experienced.

We shopped for Christmas presents for one another from the Dollar Store. That’s not a joke or a typo. We combed that store’s aisles for meaningful presents for one another and thought of creative ways to express our love for one another through these inexpensive items. Our children never complained and jumped right in to the spirit of the opportunity, raising our joy in the process. When the gifts were later exchanged, the time was marked by laughter and sincere appreciation for the thoughtfulness and consideration that went in to each and every gift selection.

We worshipped at Prestonwood Baptist church. We were without a church home since being laid off the April prior. We had “settled in” at Valley Creek church in Flower Mound - a great church that we love. But we had decided that we wanted to go to Prestonwood for Christmas worship. There, we were blessed by the worship, especially by the singing of Holly Knight, who we have known from our days back in Colorado when Kelli had babysat Holly as a child. The church gave away hundreds of Nativity sets to children, and Kelsi brought one home as an unexpected, precious gift. 

We were also blessed by dear friends from Grapevine who surprised us with a large bag full of Christmas gifts…for the entire family. Every gift was a treasure. We were overwhelmed by the love expressed by the selfless, generous presents given to each of us. I never felt more like George Bailey than that day - rich beyond measure because of the kindness and love of friends.

A year later, so much has changed. We live a thousand miles to the west in a suburban community where 83% of the population is unchurched. We are part of a thriving church where I am honored to serve as the pastor of local outreach. God has knit our hearts with many people and we’re making new friends. Our children are thriving and finding their place in God’s work here. While it will take years to financially “recover” from the extended unemployment, we are in a much better place, economically speaking. We shopped at “regular” stores. We didn’t “go crazy,” but we were able to buy our children multiple gifts. In most ways, it was back to “Christmas as usual.”

Except that last night, at the end of the Christmas Eve, before Kelli put on her kerchief and I my cap…we spent time talking as a family about the year between last Christmas and this. We reflected on God’s goodness, on his faithfulness, on his provision, on his love and care and keeping. We worshipped him as a family in prayers of adoration, thanksgiving, requests, and praise.

From time to time, in response to good news, we hear people say, “God is good!” I agree. It’s true. What we learned, though, in this past year, is the first-hand experience of what we already knew to be true: In the “bad times” too, God is good. God was good in bringing to an end our time in Texas…though we wouldn’t have asked for it. God was good in drawing us into an extended time of waiting…though we never would have asked for it. He grew our faith and drew us close to another and to himself. God was good in every door he closed and every opportunity he gave to someone else….though I often begged for it not be so. He brought me (and all of us) to a dependence and trust in him that is more valuable than anything available for purchase at a store…and more fulfilling than any job title.

God didn’t give us patience. He gave us a situation that required patience. We had nothing but God. We had no choice but to trust him. The only thing that we had was the faith that he had given us. We held on to that faith, and accordingly, on to him, with all that we had within us. That faith was his gift to us…and he gave it to us to carry us because he is good.

This year, we know no fewer than 4 families who are today where we were last year, financially speaking. We know of dear friends who are hurting this Christmas. I pray for you daily, asking God to bring you through your pain, through your waiting, through your season of need. I also ask God to be real to you in these days, that he draws you near and that in these days that could be seen as “bad,” you will experience first-hand that God is good.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶ and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (Eph. 2:4-7)