B-log

Here’s the manuscript for the message I shared at the memorial of my dear friend, Chris LeFevre. Please be sure to read the postscript at the end.

***

As with many of you, I am proud to say that Chris was my friend. I met Chris when, in the 4^th grade, my family moved, which caused me to switch schools from East Elementary to Sunset Elementary. Somehow, I linked up with Troy & Chris. Their epic foot race to determine the fastest kid at Sunset Elementary had already been run, and they had formed a friendship alliance that never wavered. In a lot of ways, I could have been the “third wheel,” but to their credit, they welcomed me in and we all became close friends.

My early memories of Chris include him always having the newest, coolest video games but always being willing to let us play. We’d pile up in his bedroom, loading up his waterbed and taking turns playing games. Gramma (Dorothy) was worried we were going to make that bed burst, but Chris always made sure we emptied our pockets of pencils, forks, sticks, knives, or anything sharp.

In Middle school, his lunches always included Pringles and Beef Jerky. Somehow, this exotic cuisine made him the envy of everyone. Chris shrewdly negotiated for the best food in the lunchroom using these precious commodities.

Chris was always one of the fastest kids in the class, but I remember that Chris hurt his knees and had to have surgery. And rather than it sidelining him, after his surgeries, he’d hobble out to the football fields in his leg brace and crutches and play defensive line, batting down the passes of the other team during our lunchtime games.

As we got older, the memories are ironically a little more vague but a lot more precious. Too many weekends to count, we all were together…Bevr with Meaty, Rusty, Brad, Rollie, Fred, and myself. We always knew how to find a good time…out at Shad’s house, Amy’s property, sometimes it was a hotel room, or some stranger’s residence, sometimes out on the rocks behind my house. I now understand that it wasn’t the location…it was the company. And those times, no matter where we were, they were always filled with laughter. Simply put, those days were carefree and perfect.

The years passed and we grew up. And as we all know, growing up means that days are no longer carefree, and once they are no longer carefree, they are rarely perfect. Despite it all his own difficulties and trials, Chris remained a loving husband, a dedicated father, a professional worker, and a good friend. And in this moment, it has encouraged my heart to know that throughout his life, Chris retained those incredible characteristics that caused everyone to quickly become his friend and want to spend time with him. All of us were better…richer…blessed for having Chris in our lives.

It has been said that memorials such as this are for the living. And we know that to be true even as we gather today to reconcile our own emotions and grief. We have come together to look back and reflect on the beautiful life of Chris…who was a husband, a dad, a son, a grandson, a nephew, an uncle, a co-worker, and a friend. But we also look forward looking for hope as we try to figure out what life is supposed to look like with this sudden void, this unexpected hole in our lives that is here because of Chris’s death.

This time is bittersweet because with his passing, every one of us is confronted with our own mortality. And in the perspective of the reality of our mortality, we come face to face with what we believe about life and death. We all come to our beliefs differently. Some of us form our beliefs internally…we build opinions about certain matters that we hold dear,opinions that are shaped by our own experiences, perceptions, or dispositions. Other of us have beliefs that are shaped by external sources - outside factors that influence or even change our opinions because they offer objective considerations that we hadn’t previously taken in to account. 

In a crowd like this, we likely have many different beliefs and I won’t presume that you necessarily believe what I believe. And that’s okay. What I want to share with you briefly from an external source that has not changed in its history. This source is the Bible, and this resource makes the audacious claim that it accurately declares what God wants you to know about himself. In sharing this with you, I am praying that you will have fresh hope about God’s love for Chris, and just as importantly, God’s love for you.

I want you to know is that God is very concerned that you believe the right things…about him, about yourself, and about his love for you.  There is a book of the Bible called “John” that was written specifically for this purpose. In fact, in Chapter 20, verse 31, which is at the end of the book, John writes, “but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”

God wants you to believe the right things about Jesus, and that by doing so…you may have life in his name.

That’s a pretty huge thing…this “life in his name,” that you can really only appreciate if you know what John’s talking about. Thankfully, he explains it at the beginning of the book that he wrote. And that’s the second thing I want to share with you…God wants you to believe in Jesus as the source of true, everlasting life.

Here’s what the Scripture says in the very first chapter of John, in verse 12: “But to all who did receive Jesus, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”

To recap: God wants you to believe in Jesus so that you can have life, and also, that in doing so, you can relate to God as his much beloved child.

There’s a lot of confusion about Jesus today, and I don’t want to presume that you know the real deal. He’s misrepresented a lot. So I want you to know that Jesus was never confused about himself, no matter what you have heard. Here’s just a little of what he said about himself…these are all recorded from the book of John:

• Whoever believes in the son has eternal life. (3:36)
• Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. (5:24) 
• Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (11:24-25) 
• I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness. (12:46) 
• “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. (14:1) 

Do you see that God wants you to “get this?” He wants you to understand. He wants you to believe, so that you may live.  In fact, he summarizes it in John 3:16, which may be the most popular verse in all the Bible:

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 

You see…it’s not about church.  It’s not about money. It’s not even about religion. It’s not about doing enough “good things,” or staying away from enough “bad things.” From God’s perspective, it’s all about believing the right things about Jesus, in terms of trusting in God and depending on God and staking your life on God because he loves you and he wants you to live as his child…because he loves you.

 Friends, this is the best message of hope that I have because it is the greatest message of hope available. God loves you. He wants you to believe in him and his love for you shown through Jesus.

 Chris and I never had a conversation about belief. My hope is that Chris had this beautiful belief in God. And I can tell you with great certainty that if Chris could speak one word to you right now, that word would be “Believe!” I am certain that Chris would not want you to leave here today without this matter settled in your spirit. I’m convinced because of what I know about God and what I know about Chris that he would not want you to leave here today in either doubt or unbelief. Because Chris loves you and because God loves you, the most hopeful, hope-filled thing you could do is to believe in Jesus.

We all came in here at different points but we are at a common crossroad…a decision point about whether or not to believe. For some of you, you already believe this, and I’ve affirmed what you already believed. For others, this is new…perhaps completely contradictory to what you’ve believed until now. Some of you will resist or reject this message of hope and hold on to what you currently believe. I understand that and I respect that. Others of you, though, have heard this message of hope and have a change of mind about what you believe. I encourage you to believe your new beliefs and doubt your old doubts, rather than doubting your beliefs and believing your doubts. Believe that God loves you. Hold on to that belief with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, all your strength.

 From this common crossroad, we will move forward in our own directions. We will hold Chris in our thoughts and warmly regard him in our hearts. We will cherish our beautiful perfect moments…the camping and fishing trips, the campfire laughter, his generous spirit and easy, contagious grin. While we all wish we could pause at a perfect moment and remain there, time marches ever forward, and we move forward with it, hopefully with fresh hope and new believe in the overwhelming love of God.

My prayer for each of you is that you will remember Chris at his best, that you will be quick and gracious to forgive him wherever forgiveness is needed, that you will take the time to thank God for the time you were blessed to spend with Chris, and that you will embrace the belief that God loves you with a deep, wide, vast, immeasurable eternal love and is calling out to you even today to live in that love and believe.

***

On Sunday after the memorial, I received an email from Chris’s aunt. She wrote:

I wanted to fill you in too that I didn’t have a “spiritual’ conversation with Chris per se, but when he was in South Fork, when things were really falling apart with Jenny, I talked to him on the phone and encouraged him to get in touch with someone at a church who could minister to him & listen, & give him HOPE. He followed through and a couple guys came over. He later told me, he accepted Christ and within the same week or so got baptized. He did in fact believe and was saved.

God is great in his love, grace and mercy. His saving grace was sufficient the exact moment that Chris first believed. God’s mercy is greater that Chris’s worst decision and lowest point. Nothing can separate Chris from God’s love…not the events of December 17, nor nothing forevermore. Because of God’s awesome love, Chris is alive now and forever in the presence of God, through his simple faith in Jesus as Lord.

The calendar turned. I went to sleep in 2011, and woke up at 2012. 

My thoughts:

• Maybe the fireworks everywhere mean something a little more than in most years.  
• I’ve never seen so much of a sense that 2011 was a bad year.
• 2011 was a good year for me, my family. Unemployment ended. New door to serve opened. Much prayer was answered. My faith is deeper, wider, stronger because of 2010-2011. 
• Two of my high school classmates died in 2011. I’m saddened that they will miss so much of life that goes on for their children and other loved ones.
• The United States of America is really pretty amazing. There is such an expectation of hope for 2012. I don’t know if it is political, economic, social or what…but people generally think things are going to be better this year than it was last year.
• Is that a global phenomenon, as well?
• I will be 40 years old this year. How ‘bout that?
• My children turn 15, 13, and 10 this year. Good googlymoogly.
• We miss being near family and Texas friends, but we had such a long time to prepare for our transition that it helped make it easier. And God was so gracious to our children…they transitioned incredibly well and made lots of new friends.
• I heard a song this morning that said something along the lines that God is more real in the pain and need and the waiting. That was our experience in 2011.
• I believe that since God orchestrated the events to bring me and my family to Arizona, it would be foolish of me not to obey him in the little things he calls me to now that I’m here. It’d be like driving across the country to get to a destination, but deciding not to get out of the car once I arrived.
• My analogies will get better as the year progresses…I’m pretty sure of it.
• There’s prophecies that the world will end this year…and plenty of naysayers who think the world will continue in perpetuity. I believe the world will end…someday. Whether it happens this year or long after I’m dead (hopefully many years from now), there’s nothing I can do to change it, so I’m just going to make the most of it.
• I’m encouraged beyond words to meet each week the thousands of people who call Scottsdale Bible Church “home,” because they demonstrate that they are earnestly seeking God. The conversations I share challenge me and grow me. 
• I’m continually learning that love is this miraculous resource that God gives us expressly to give away liberally to others. You never run out of it. You never even run low on it. Perhaps best of all, the more you give away, the more full you feel.
• I’ve never been so full of love, though, that I’ve wanted to stop giving it away.
• This causes me to marvel at the love that God has for every one of us…and for each one of us.
• There’s no shortage of people desperately in need of love.

Read parts 1,2,3,4

This season of my life began in April 2010 with the unexpected, painful news that I was being laid off from my church after five years of fruitful service where we had seen God grow the church numerically and spiritually. I was blindsided by the separation. I thought I was insulated from the possibility of termination because of the biblical mandates related to my responsibilities, but that obviously wasn’t the case.

These last words on what has brought me here is my attempt to share some insights that will be helpful and hope-filled for those of you travelling down your own river of discontent, whether it be job loss-related or any other trouble of adversity.

My discoveries and take-forwards, in no particular order:

• God loves me, even in my unlovable moments. It was a tough, tough experience to have the church and ministry taken from me. It caused me to do all kinds of introspection and reflection, evaluation and examination. It was painful to feel affirmed in my call as a minister, but to have no ministry. I had to battle bitterness continually as I became increasingly aware of churches that tolerated being shepherded by pastors who have settled for mediocrity. I had to fight against anger every time I read a headline about another pastor who had admitted to immorality or criminality…and their church endorsed that bad behavior even at the cost of its own integrity.
  
  Upon getting my “walking papers,” we immediately began visiting several other churches. We went to bigger and smaller churches, familiar and unfamiliar churches and churches where there were ministry possibilities. We “settled in” in two different churches in Flower Mound. We didn’t “find a home,” because we always felt like God was moving us (which made the season feel continually unstable, like we didn’t want to plant roots that would have to immediately be torn out in a relocation). The two churches were similar while being starkly different. They were both good, healthy churches. And because of that, I could see myself there…wanting it, presuming that God had executed my separation from my previous church to move me into either one of these new opportunities.
  
  Neither of those opportunities came to pass. I was the runner up for one and never considered for the other. And I confess, I was mad at those churches for choosing someone else. In a lot of other rejections, I was totally okay with it because I didn’t know much about the opportunity…but in these two places…I had wanted to be there. God’s Spirit was there, and it just hurt to know that I wouldn’t get to be a part of what he was doing there.
  
  At some point along the way, God showed me that I was so consumed by my experiences that I was was looking at everything going on around me, but I had taken my eyes off of him. He graciously smacked me upside the head and showed me that I was being petty, selfish, and immature for being angry at the men God had placed in the positions that I had wanted. God showed me that in the end, I was really angry at him. God was patient with me. He dealt with me and overcame my anger with his love.
  
  Once I quit wallowing in what I didn’t have, I was freed to be grateful for all the ways that God had continued to bless me. In shifting my focus off of my self and back to him, I was able to move forward. We stayed at one of the churches that had “passed on me,” and I came to treasure what God had to offer through their new pastor. I was nourished again by the the worship and teaching. I was able to release my pain, my hurt, and my doubts and again rest in his assurances and promises and blessings. God had never left me. He had never forsaken me. He had led me into this season, was guiding me through it, and provided for me throughout.
  
  
• Pruning is painful. My life verse has been John 15:5. For all the years of following Christ, I’ve understood my faith life in the terms of God as “vine dresser,” Jesus as “the vine,” and myself as “the branch.” And for all my years as a minister, I’ve experienced increasingly abundant results as I’ve I’ve abided in Christ. And over the years, I’ve been pruned a little here, and shaped a little there…to positive results.

In April 2010, I was really “cut back.” God saw fit as he assessed my life to cut away the thick, leafy foliage that was my ministry and leave me with only the most essential aspects of my life: my faith, my bride, my children, and a retirement account that would provide our livelihood for the foreseeable time ahead. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but God was undertaking an action that he determined was necessary for my long-term health and growth. I said early on in my time at my previous church that I could stay there until the Lord called me home. I was saying that as a statement of satisfaction, but now I’m convinced that God knew better that it was a confession of complacency. If I had remained there, my dependence upon him may have lessened as my influence increased. My need for him may have waned as time went on. My desperation for him may have slackened as I grew comfortable with success that might have been pleasing to the congregation but not anywhere near what God could do with me otherwise.

So he pruned me. And it hurt. Badly. When pruning happens, it can look a lot like discipline…especially from the perspective of onlookers. What I’ve learned that while being pruned is painful, it is not an act of cruelty. It is humbling, but not humiliating. It left me figuratively naked, but covered by God. It left me tender, which made me sensitive to the hurts of others. It has left scars that you cannot see, which remind me of the loving work of God in my life. Pruning hurt, but I am incredibly thankful for it. I continue to abide, looking forward to the new yield Christ will produce through me.


• Nothing is mine. I’m writing this final entry about these events and what God has shown me through it all from the air-conditioned environs of my new office in my new church in my new ministry in my new city in my new state….in my new opportunity. But I know they’re not mine. These new things are no more mine than the previous things were mine. I was given oversight responsibility over things and people for five years in Texas. As I strove to be faithful, God gave me oversight over more things and people. Proving it was never mine to begin with, after five years of building up and adding to…it was all taken away in one afternoon’s meeting. 
  
  At the beginning of the lay-off, we knew that the church was providing a severance, and that we had retirement.We boldly said, “we’ll spend all our retirement if we have to,” never thinking that we’d have to. But as the months wore on, we saw that God tested us in this. Would we be willing to spend everything to wait for his best? When the financial end was in sight and it didn’t match up with the end of our season, our faith was tested. Would we still trust in him? 

We chose to walk by faith, and not by what we could see. And God proved himself. He showed us that he doesn’t work by what we can see, or understand, or figure out, or manipulate. He is not bound by the things that bind us, nor is he limited by the things that limit us. Our “dollars and cents” issues are not resolved, but we have his provision. We have new hope, new resources, and new opportunities…all of which he brought to bear at his time in his way that does not allow us to take credit for it or rob acclaim from him.

I better understand that nothing is mine. I’m blessed to be occupying this office in his church for a time. I hope it is a long time, with increasing responsibilities and opportunities. I get to serve with and lead his people in his work to experience the results that he established before time existed to happen at this time in history.

• While life is a matter of exchanging one set of unknowns for another, what matters is what you get resolved on this side of eternity. Being unemployed was scary. We didn’t know what the future would hold. We didn’t know where we were going or what we’d be doing. We had a long lists of sentences that ended in question marks, and not many that ended with a period or an exclamation mark.
  
  Once we learned that our season of waiting was ending, putting periods and exclamation marks to our questions, we found out that we had a whole new set of questions to replace the ones that had been answered. With a huge sigh of relief we had questions about finances and provision answered, but we had new questions about where to live, who would be our friends, what opportunities would await, how will we be successful, and on and on and on.
  
  You know what…that’s life. We will never stop having questions until this life is over. We will always wonder about what comes next until the last thing happens…the event that immediately follows the end of life. So it’s okay to have questions. And to have more questions after the previous questions are answered. What really matters is that you get the most important matter resolved…the security of your soul. 
  
  God loves you very much…the essential you…the you that endures through adversity, that withstands the pains of life. He has provided hope for the eternity safety for your soul through Jesus. When your soul is secure, you can persevere, and you can grow even through difficult times. I hope that you know whether your soul is secure, and if you do not, I urge you to connect with me so I can share with you how you can know for sure.
  
  There are many, many things that I do not know about what comes tomorrow, or in the time ahead. However, I know that my soul is secure and that God is good. Every other answer that I learn is just another blessing along life’s journey.

• If we knew what God knows, we’d want what God wants. This is a proverb coined by my first pastor, Rick Ferguson. I just experienced it in a new way. If on the day I had been laid off, God had revealed himself in a burning shrub as I exited the building carrying out my office decor in boxes, told me to take off my dress shoes and meet with him…well, I would have.
  
  Imagine if God would have put me on my face and said, “Bryan, I’m going to use this upcoming season to strip you of all the things that have made you comfortable and complacent. I’m going to take away all the good things you have so you are available to receive the best things I have in store for you. I’m going to use this time ahead to make you more humble. I’m going to make you a better husband, father, and minister through this. I’m going to develop your passion for the hurting and the oppressed. I’m going to show you my love in new ways that you’ve not experienced in a long time, if ever. I’m going to turn your priorities upside down and lavish grace and mercy upon you. I’m going carry you and sustain you when you are weak and tired. I’m going to affirm you and empower you and assure you. I’m going to be your Lord and your God for every need. And…I’m going to provide a new place for you to use all these things that I’m giving to you in this season to so I can accomplish great things through you in plans you wouldn’t believe even if I went into even greater detail!”
  
  The fact is, God didn’t do that. But I believe all those things are true enough that he could have said them. And part of the beauty of living by faith is trusting in the invisible and daily seeing these invisible things being made real. I tell you sincerely that I want what God wants. My problems lie in the reality that I don’t know what God knows, and it is better that I don’t. However, as God graciously unfolds his plan before me, the best and wisest thing I can do is recognize that he is sharing his divine insight with me and building my faith as I go.
  
  
• Faith is both impossibly difficult and incredibly easy. Well, this has gotten much longer than I intended, and I’m resisting the urge to break this part up into smaller parts. If I haven’t lost you by now…thanks…and stay with me for this last point.
  
  Walking by faith is difficult because everything natural is opposed to it. My natural reaction is to respond to what I see, what I hear, what I think, or what I understand. My supernatural (faith) reaction is based solely on what God says…which often opposed by what I see, hear, think, or understand. This is the battle I waged in my spirit. And it was often difficult. I wanted at times to give up. I cried out to God and asked for him to end this season early. I can’t tell you how many times I said audibly, “I just don’t understand.” Walking by faith is difficult because it is impossible to do it with the natural resources we possess.

Nonetheless, we walked by faith through this season because it is all we know to do. I believe that God rescued my soul from hell back in 1992, when I called upon Jesus to accept God’s wrath on my behalf for my rebellion against him. I believe that Jesus is God and he paid my penalty in full. And because of that, I am fully accepted by God, and that my soul is secure. Because I am able to trust God with the safety of my soul, I am much more so able to trust him with the lesser matters in my life, such as my health, my life, my ministry, my salary, my possessions. Walking by faith is incredibly easy exactly because it is naturally impossible. Faith is an entirely supernatural experience. Every iota of my faith is a gift from God. I cannot manufacture it. God has birthed it, nurtured it, and in this season of adversity, he has grown it. The faith that carried me through the last fourteen months is the faith that I will return to and rely upon as we face the challenges and the unknowns that are ahead of us. 

There were times when my faith felt incredibly fragile, and times when it felt like was so big that it could move mountains. I’m not smart enough to know if my faith right now is small or big, weak or strong. I know my faith is the matter of God making real the things that I hope for based on his promises, and it is the evidence of what I cannot see. My faith is in the Christ…my God and my Savior.

No more bullet points of insights…but I close with perhaps the most fitting one of all….God works “hands on” in the messiness of life. I’m certain that more lessons are still to be discovered, possibly even more precious and important that what I’ve shared here. God never promised a pain-free, difficulty-void, adversity-proof life. In fact, he promised the opposite. But he also promised that he’d be with me through it all. And he has been. And he offers the same for you. I hope you know him in this way. I hope you have this type of relationship with him. Thanks for going with me through this journey. I’m here for you, too, to walk with you in whatever season you find yourself in as you have read this.

Yesterday, just before 6 PM, Birdie Idell Low Cotter passed quietly from this life into heaven. Even as she entered eternity to the full presence of God, she left behind a legacy of family, love, and most important, faith.

Birdie was born January 20, 1907. That’s right…104 years ago. In this picture to your left….she was 22 years old when the picture was taken in 1929.

Sixty four years passed until her path intersected with my own. In 1993, I made my first trip to Texas with my then-girlfriend, Kelli Cotter. I had agreed to accompany her to Baytown in South Texas, where she was to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of her childhood friend. The trip from Colorado included a stay-over in Weatherford, where Kelli’s Mammaw lived.

My first meeting with Mammaw was relatively unremarkable. This 86-year-old widow was nice and welcoming, but she was not overly interested in this boy accompanying her sweet granddaughter. I remember being impressed that Kelli’s granddaddy built this home with his own hands. I’m still impressed by that.

That night, Mammaw led me downstairs to the basement bedroom where I soundly slept. Kelli and Mammaw occupied the bedrooms upstairs. Years later, I learned that Mammaw locked the basement door, confining me securely downstairs to protect Kelli from any mischievous temptations that may have originated within the downstairs tenant. Birdie unlocked the door before I awoke none the wiser and we said our cordial goodbyes.

In the years that followed, Kelli moved from being my girlfriend to my fiance’ to my wife to the mother of our children. In that time, Mammaw moved out of her home built by her husband’s hands into an apartment that was more accommodating to the limitations of her more than 90 years. Eventually, her boys Gene and Sam (Kelli’s dad) moved her into Sterling House, an assisted living facility. She lived in Sterling House for ten years.

Mammaw liked to brag on her family, particularly her great-grandchildren. On one of our many visits, another Sterling House resident stopped to say hi to Birdie. Mammaw proudly introduced each of our children, and then us as “My grandson Bryan and his wife Kelli.” This brief mis-introduction was likely unintentional, but it certainly represented the real change that had evolved in my relationship with her. Somewhere over the years, she had gone from being Mammaw to being my Mammaw. 

When Mammaw was 101, her increasing care needs required that she be moved Sterling House to Holland Lake nursing home. She experienced a stroke at 102, after which she fell largely silent. In her final two years, she spoke few words (none that I heard myself), but did not cease living. Her eyes lit up when she was surrounded by her family… particularly her great-grandchildren.  She’d manage to pucker her lips to share kisses with each of us. She’d smile as we spoke with her, and tears would brim when we spoke of Jesus or sang songs of faith. 

Kelli and I were able to see Birdie on the last Monday before her death, and  Kelli, her parents Sam & Ruth Lynn and her Uncle Gene, were with her in her final moments on this side of eternity. 

Many years ago, before either of my parents were even born, Birdie and Cliff Cotter made a choice to live differently. They determined to live as people of faith. The faith in Jesus that had saved each of them would also be the faith that would shape their family. 

God honored that decision, and faith became their legacy. They understood that faith wasn’t hereditary…it wasn’t their children’s birthright. But they also understood that faith in Jesus is utterly contagious. They determined that as best they were able, their behavior would match their beliefs. What they did would agree with what they said. As a result, their boys came to faith in Christ and lived according to the same principle and led their own families to do the same.

This is the environment I entered when Kelli permitted me the privilege of wooing her. I didn’t share their values, and I didn’t share their faith. And in our time together, they didn’t condemn me and they didn’t try to change me. They just lived unashamedly, uncompromisingly as people of faith. And it made an impression on me.

Their faith was genuine. It was humble. It was servant-minded. But it was happy. And it was attractive. As time passed, it wasn’t that I wanted to be like them. However, I wanted what they had - faith. I needed what they had received - grace. Their example facilitated my receptivity to the gospel. I “caught” their faith and it became my own. And however imperfectly, we have strived to live according to our beliefs; accordingly, God’s Spirit has transformed our family. 

Birdie has gone home. Her legacy endures.

The Aughts have given way to the Teens in the 2nd Millennium (according to the Gregorian calendar, anyway). The first decade of the newest century is done. 2010 has closed and 2011 has begun. 

Time marches forward.

Anecdotal evidence (my Facebook, Twitter feeds) suggests 2010 was a difficult year for many. It seems like a lot of people are happy to close the book on last year and put on some sunglasses toward the prospect of a bright 2011. 

Here’s my decade in review, best to worst. The rationale for each year’s placement on the list is relevant only to me and a few others, so I’ll not bog this down with those details:

1. 2002
2. 2009
3. 2008
4. 2005
5. 2004
6. 2003
7. 2001
8. 2007
9. 2006
10. 2010

There’s probably a year’s worth of psychology in this, and I might make some adjustments if I thought about it further. But that’s not the point. The point is, this little exercise is good because it causes you to reflect on the good and the bad. There was so much good that happened over the past ten years. And there was bad, too.

The good isn’t meant to offset the bad. Nor is the bad meant to taint the good. They just co-exist. The bad has the effect of salting the good…making the good that much sweeter when it’s tasted in contrast to the bad. Conversely, the good’s sweetness has the ability to cut into the acidity of the bad.

But then again, maybe I’m just watching too much Cooking Channel.

I’ve heard it said that time is the only one of the four dimensions (along with the three spatial dimensions) within which we can only move in one direction. We cannot stand still in time and we cannot go back in time. At least until Doc Brown gets the Flux Capacitor working.

Despite our inability to “manage time,” we all try to do it. We romanticize the past. We try to control the variables of a good moment in time with the vain hope that it will never change, never end. But nothing ever stays the same. Everything changes. Time marches forward.

Comedian/singer Mark Lowery famously has said something like, “My favorite verse in the Bible is ‘It came to pass.’” He makes the point that your problems come to pass. They don’t come to stay. Some stay longer than others and some problems stay much longer than any of us would prefer. But just as good times eventually draw to a close, so too, do bad ones.

And that’s what I think I really like about “It came to pass.” To me, this oft-repeated passage (approximately 480 times in the King James version) indicates “it happened.” My favorite references (5 times) include the phrase, “in the process of time it came to pass.” My best literal translation is, “At the end of a designated time, it happened that…” This tells me that the events of our life are not random, they are not coincidental. They have been authored. They have been designated. They have been assigned. They have been established. And there is purpose behind what happens.

This helps me understand that if time is indeed marching forward (as every bit of evidence seems to indicate), then it is marching forward toward a destination. The Bible declares that there was a beginning to time (“In the beginning, God…”), and also promises that there will be an end (prophesied in Daniel, 2 Peter 3, and Revelation). Within God’s grand drama of time, our minuscule lives play a part. Things that we think are dramatic or significant…probably aren’t. Things we think are trifling or meaningless…probably have bigger implications than we could ever imagine. How many times have you re-evaluated blessings and burdens through the perspective of hindsight, only to feel completely opposite about an experience than you did when you were going through it in “real time.” Imagine how much more so that will be true when you can evaluate the entirety of your life from the perspective of eternity.

My 2010 stunk (generally speaking) for the last seven-and-a-half months. It was marked by disappointment, frustration, doubt, sadness, and confusion. But this is the truth…It has been a precious year for me. Blessings of devotion, love, support, and fidelity of Kelli, my kids, my extended family, and my dear friends is more meaningful than ever. God has used this time to clarify my personal vision and set the course for my future. He took me out of a good place where I was entirely comfortable and not very dependent upon him, and he did it to show me something better. He has brought me humility and led me to a place where my hope is in him alone. And the events of 2010 had to happen for me to be where I am. And I have to be where I am now to go where he’s leading me next.

And that’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it? Faith. Faith that we’re moving forward in a purposeful direction. Faith that there’s meaning to these days that are good, and even more so that there is meaning to the days that are not so good. Faith that it all matters. The Bible says that even this faith is a gift from God. This faith that he gives is able to rescue your soul and it is able to give the hope of meaning to your days. The faith he provides empowers you to persevere through the bad. 

2011 is here, and like the sand in an hourglass, it’s begun its steady process of passing. If your problems, challenges, or setbacks have come along with you into the new year - or if they’re still ahead - I’m praying for you the same prayer that I’ve learned to pray for myself: that you don’t get trapped in the quicksand of despair, but you lay hold of hope by faith and let God rescue and sustain you.  As someone who didn’t have a “happy” 2010, I no longer think that’s my highest hope for you in 2011.  Instead, I wish for you to have a new year that grows your faith and brings you experiences that you will cherish because you recognize they are meaning, purposeful, and necessary.

I know that doesn’t fit well on a Twitter feed or a FB update, but not every good thought can be jammed into 140 characters.

First, a story. Then, the point.

***

In the late 1950s, Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on American History.  The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week all around the country. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The M.C. stepped up to the mike. 

“Bob, you have chosen the category of American History for your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?” 

Bob nodded with a cocky confidence and the crowd went wild. He hadn’t missed a question all week.  ”Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?” 

Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn’t believe it, but he was drawing a blank.  American History was his easiest subject, but he played it safe.  ”I’ll try the easier part first.” 

The M.C. nodded approvingly. “Here we go Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half.” 

The audience grew silent with intense anticipation … 

“Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen??”

***

We’re going through a process right now where we’re trusting in the promise of the Lord’s provision….waiting on God, exploring his will, relying on his guidance.

It’s a daily adventure that in a lot of ways feels like competing on The $64,000 Question. With each progressive step, the stakes seem to increase with the implications of what happens after God reveals the answers to the questions we’re asking. We find ourselves at a point where we’re asking a lot of things like…

• “And what if?”
• “And then what?”
• “And how will…?”
• “And when do we…?”
• “And where will we…?”

These (and the many others akin to them) are all like Bob’s second-part question. Human nature always has us running ahead of God and asking questions that may be irrelevant, unimportant, or altogether faith-damaging. 

A few things I’m learning all over again in this Graduate School of Following:

1. God shows me only enough to take my next step. If he showed me the full scope, I wouldn’t need faith. Possibly, the whole scope could frighten or overwhelm me. Certainly, I’d under-appreciate the journey for the focus on the destination.
2. Those who are justified advance through the journey by faith, not by what they can see. God’s promises are visible only by the eyes of faith.
3. The purpose of the journey is not arriving at the next stop. The purpose is the daily experience of meeting with God and enjoying being in his company.
4. It’s not easy. And at times, I’m not very good at it. It requires seemingly continual surrender, and I’m regularly surprised by the resiliency of my contentious human nature.
5. God is good and his plan is the best. God alone gave me every single thing I have. He provides for me each day. If he takes from me, it is his anyway and it has been taken so I will draw nearer to him. If he gives more to me, it is still his and it is for his benefit and purpose that I use it. 

Today…and each new day…I find that the “first part” question is the same as the one Jesus asked Peter: “Do you love me?”

As I focus on the answer and all of the implications of the affirmative response, the relevancy of the “second-part” questions diminish to the point of triviality.  

A consulting company named Summus recently shared some poll findings:

I keep my spiritual beliefs separate from the office. 41.45%

I pray or meditate before I make any important decision. 29.81%

I do not consider myself a religious or spiritual person 16.72%

I look frequently to spiritual texts for inspiration and guidance on work issues.9.64%

Reliance on spirituality is a core value of our company and we often have a group prayer. 2.38%

While almost 17% stated explicitly that they were not religious or spiritual, the inference is that the remaining 83% quantified in the surve do consider themselves this way. Even if that is not completely correlative, you can infer that a majority believe that their is a spiritual/religious aspect to their personhood.

However, despite that majority of “belief,” it only makes a minority of “impact” in real-world business actions. The greatest percentage seems to take a DA/DT approach to faith in the workplace. Less than 10 percent acknowledges going to their religious texts for guidance, and barely 2% report that that spirituality is pervasive in the corporate culture. The most encouraging statistic (from my pastoral perspective) is that almost 30 percent state that they regularly pray for wisdom.

My analysis isn’t a screed that laments that the workplace isn’t more Jesus-y. My disappointment has more to with interpreting that of that implicit 83%, group is evenly split between those who are totally closeted and those who are “quiet witnesses.” For Christians, faith isn’t faith if it isn’t transformationally lived out (read the book of James for evidence). More than 41 percent say cut-and-dry that faith and work are separate. I’m curious to know how many of that group prayed that God would give them their job. How many thanked God for protecting them from being fired or laid off? It seems like a logical disconnect to make the conscientious decision of people of faith to exclude God from the workplace.

If God directs your paths, then he gave you your job for a reason. and while your job may pay your bills, feed your family, or even afford you luxuries, that is not why God provided you your job. He gave you your work as a way to make him known to others. He gave you your job as a means to bring attention and fame to Jesus. I’m not saying you need to become an the water cooler preacher, or the cheesy guy with the Thompson Chain Reference Bible on the corner of your desk and a WWJD poster on your cubicle wall. I’m just saying you and I Christ-followers have a responsibility to be “real world” believers, living out our faith in explicit ways. Shoving your faith into the closet when you walk through the front doors of work is idolatry.