Remember Chris
Here’s the manuscript for the message I shared at the memorial of my dear friend, Chris LeFevre. Please be sure to read the postscript at the end.
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As with many of you, I am proud to say that Chris was my friend. I met Chris when, in the 4th grade, my family moved, which caused me to switch schools from East Elementary to Sunset Elementary. Somehow, I linked up with Troy & Chris. Their epic foot race to determine the fastest kid at Sunset Elementary had already been run, and they had formed a friendship alliance that never wavered. In a lot of ways, I could have been the “third wheel,” but to their credit, they welcomed me in and we all became close friends.
My early memories of Chris include him always having the newest, coolest video games but always being willing to let us play. We’d pile up in his bedroom, loading up his waterbed and taking turns playing games. Gramma (Dorothy) was worried we were going to make that bed burst, but Chris always made sure we emptied our pockets of pencils, forks, sticks, knives, or anything sharp.
In Middle school, his lunches always included Pringles and Beef Jerky. Somehow, this exotic cuisine made him the envy of everyone. Chris shrewdly negotiated for the best food in the lunchroom using these precious commodities.
Chris was always one of the fastest kids in the class, but I remember that Chris hurt his knees and had to have surgery. And rather than it sidelining him, after his surgeries, he’d hobble out to the football fields in his leg brace and crutches and play defensive line, batting down the passes of the other team during our lunchtime games.
As we got older, the memories are ironically a little more vague but a lot more precious. Too many weekends to count, we all were together…Bevr with Meaty, Rusty, Brad, Rollie, Fred, and myself. We always knew how to find a good time…out at Shad’s house, Amy’s property, sometimes it was a hotel room, or some stranger’s residence, sometimes out on the rocks behind my house. I now understand that it wasn’t the location…it was the company. And those times, no matter where we were, they were always filled with laughter. Simply put, those days were carefree and perfect.
The years passed and we grew up. And as we all know, growing up means that days are no longer carefree, and once they are no longer carefree, they are rarely perfect. Despite it all his own difficulties and trials, Chris remained a loving husband, a dedicated father, a professional worker, and a good friend. And in this moment, it has encouraged my heart to know that throughout his life, Chris retained those incredible characteristics that caused everyone to quickly become his friend and want to spend time with him. All of us were better…richer…blessed for having Chris in our lives.
It has been said that memorials such as this are for the living. And we know that to be true even as we gather today to reconcile our own emotions and grief. We have come together to look back and reflect on the beautiful life of Chris…who was a husband, a dad, a son, a grandson, a nephew, an uncle, a co-worker, and a friend. But we also look forward looking for hope as we try to figure out what life is supposed to look like with this sudden void, this unexpected hole in our lives that is here because of Chris’s death.
This time is bittersweet because with his passing, every one of us is confronted with our own mortality. And in the perspective of the reality of our mortality, we come face to face with what we believe about life and death. We all come to our beliefs differently. Some of us form our beliefs internally…we build opinions about certain matters that we hold dear,opinions that are shaped by our own experiences, perceptions, or dispositions. Other of us have beliefs that are shaped by external sources - outside factors that influence or even change our opinions because they offer objective considerations that we hadn’t previously taken in to account.
In a crowd like this, we likely have many different beliefs and I won’t presume that you necessarily believe what I believe. And that’s okay. What I want to share with you briefly from an external source that has not changed in its history. This source is the Bible, and this resource makes the audacious claim that it accurately declares what God wants you to know about himself. In sharing this with you, I am praying that you will have fresh hope about God’s love for Chris, and just as importantly, God’s love for you.
I want you to know is that God is very concerned that you believe the right things…about him, about yourself, and about his love for you. There is a book of the Bible called “John” that was written specifically for this purpose. In fact, in Chapter 20, verse 31, which is at the end of the book, John writes, “but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”
God wants you to believe the right things about Jesus, and that by doing so…you may have life in his name.
That’s a pretty huge thing…this “life in his name,” that you can really only appreciate if you know what John’s talking about. Thankfully, he explains it at the beginning of the book that he wrote. And that’s the second thing I want to share with you…God wants you to believe in Jesus as the source of true, everlasting life.
Here’s what the Scripture says in the very first chapter of John, in verse 12: “But to all who did receive Jesus, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”
To recap: God wants you to believe in Jesus so that you can have life, and also, that in doing so, you can relate to God as his much beloved child.
There’s a lot of confusion about Jesus today, and I don’t want to presume that you know the real deal. He’s misrepresented a lot. So I want you to know that Jesus was never confused about himself, no matter what you have heard. Here’s just a little of what he said about himself…these are all recorded from the book of John:
- Whoever believes in the son has eternal life. (3:36)
- Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. (5:24)
- Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (11:24-25)
- I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness. (12:46)
- “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. (14:1)
Do you see that God wants you to “get this?” He wants you to understand. He wants you to believe, so that you may live. In fact, he summarizes it in John 3:16, which may be the most popular verse in all the Bible:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
You see…it’s not about church. It’s not about money. It’s not even about religion. It’s not about doing enough “good things,” or staying away from enough “bad things.” From God’s perspective, it’s all about believing the right things about Jesus, in terms of trusting in God and depending on God and staking your life on God because he loves you and he wants you to live as his child…because he loves you.
Friends, this is the best message of hope that I have because it is the greatest message of hope available. God loves you. He wants you to believe in him and his love for you shown through Jesus.
Chris and I never had a conversation about belief. My hope is that Chris had this beautiful belief in God. And I can tell you with great certainty that if Chris could speak one word to you right now, that word would be “Believe!” I am certain that Chris would not want you to leave here today without this matter settled in your spirit. I’m convinced because of what I know about God and what I know about Chris that he would not want you to leave here today in either doubt or unbelief. Because Chris loves you and because God loves you, the most hopeful, hope-filled thing you could do is to believe in Jesus.
We all came in here at different points but we are at a common crossroad…a decision point about whether or not to believe. For some of you, you already believe this, and I’ve affirmed what you already believed. For others, this is new…perhaps completely contradictory to what you’ve believed until now. Some of you will resist or reject this message of hope and hold on to what you currently believe. I understand that and I respect that. Others of you, though, have heard this message of hope and have a change of mind about what you believe. I encourage you to believe your new beliefs and doubt your old doubts, rather than doubting your beliefs and believing your doubts. Believe that God loves you. Hold on to that belief with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, all your strength.
From this common crossroad, we will move forward in our own directions. We will hold Chris in our thoughts and warmly regard him in our hearts. We will cherish our beautiful perfect moments…the camping and fishing trips, the campfire laughter, his generous spirit and easy, contagious grin. While we all wish we could pause at a perfect moment and remain there, time marches ever forward, and we move forward with it, hopefully with fresh hope and new believe in the overwhelming love of God.
My prayer for each of you is that you will remember Chris at his best, that you will be quick and gracious to forgive him wherever forgiveness is needed, that you will take the time to thank God for the time you were blessed to spend with Chris, and that you will embrace the belief that God loves you with a deep, wide, vast, immeasurable eternal love and is calling out to you even today to live in that love and believe.
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On Sunday after the memorial, I received an email from Chris’s aunt. She wrote:
I wanted to fill you in too that I didn’t have a “spiritual’ conversation with Chris per se, but when he was in South Fork, when things were really falling apart with Jenny, I talked to him on the phone and encouraged him to get in touch with someone at a church who could minister to him & listen, & give him HOPE. He followed through and a couple guys came over. He later told me, he accepted Christ and within the same week or so got baptized. He did in fact believe and was saved.
God is great in his love, grace and mercy. His saving grace was sufficient the exact moment that Chris first believed. God’s mercy is greater that Chris’s worst decision and lowest point. Nothing can separate Chris from God’s love…not the events of December 17, nor nothing forevermore. Because of God’s awesome love, Chris is alive now and forever in the presence of God, through his simple faith in Jesus as Lord.
People I know: Chris LeFevre
After knee surgery, Beaver used his crutches to bat down passes during lunchtime football. He lived with his grandparents, and his room was always the coolest place to hang. He had the loudest stereo ever in the littlest car ever.
