What do you want to be when you grow up?
Occasionally, God uses simple, special experiences to smack me upside the head in such a profound manner that couldn’t have been more effective if he used an actual rough-cut plank of wood against the back of the hard calcium cranial shell protecting my soft gooey insides with the fudgy thought-producing center.
One Sunday, when my son was five years old, we went about our habit, which was to drive to church. On the way there, we saw God’s glory in the bright sun, a gentle breeze and blooming flora. His little hand in mine as we left the car and walked to worship, Cotter looked at me and said with a smile, “what a great day for Jesus, Daddy!”
Cotter is just a regular boy who happens to love an incredible God. Accordingly, my son’s worship is the most natural expression of his life. He, unlike myself, doesn’t get worked up over making sure he’s got every Bible reference ready for the Bible study lesson. He isn’t distracted by all the things that are “about” worship but “aren’t” worship. He just wakes up on Sunday morning and observes that it is a great day for Jesus! I can’t take credit for that, but boy do I strive to drink from that same fountain of youth every week as I prepare to encounter God.
I’m excited to see what God wants to do with Cotter. My son is handsome, intelligent, and naturally gifted in athletics. He’s creative, clever, witty, entertaining, and insightful. I look at my boy like I look at all my children and I see a future of promise and possibility.
I have hopes, dreams, and ambitions for all my children. If you ask Cotter what he wants to be when he grows up, he’ll shrug and say, “I want to be whatever God wants me to be.” I want to give my son every opportunity to discover what God wants him to be. I believe my job is to develop that childlike faith into Christ-honoring obedience.
To be honest, its times like those when I attempt to envision my children as adults, that I feel like my own faith is the weakest. I can tell you that I want only what God wants for my children. But I don’t know that I actually believe that. I think about God using them in a way where He calls them home at a young age, or in a violent, painful way, and I can tell you candidly, no I really don’t want that for them. If God wants to do that for me, I am totally okay with that. But I cannot fathom actually wanting that for my own children. In fact, I just pray for the mercy and grace and provision to be able to want that at the right time and to be okay with it if it ever is God’s plan for them.
For all I know, God may have ordained for my son to one day die a martyr’s death. The thought of it shakes my fragile faith, but does not destroy it. This is so only because I know that whatever God’s plans are for my son, they will be good plans, loving plans, and will advance His Kingdom and will reconcile others to God, rather than separate people from Him.
When I grow up, I want to be a dad who shows the love of God so well, there’s no confusion in my chidren’s minds about their calling to do the same, in life-affirming, blessing-bestowing ways.
