B-log

(this is from the archives, originally dated 12-22-2004, from our star-crossing encounter with Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown in the most unlikely of places.)

Yesterday, we did the Christmas shopping marathon. Stops at Media Play, followed by the Mall, followed by a high-class lunch at Burger King, where they let me have it my way, followed by Target.

Lil’ Bit (Kelsi) ran out of steam at the Big Red Bullseye, trying to lay down her sweet pea-pickin’ head on the handle of the cart as I chauffered her from aisle to aisle. It wasn’t working.

So, Kelli and I agreed that I’d take the kids out to the car while she finished up.

I hopped at the chance to be done and we rushed out to the Durango.

About an hour later, I get a phone call…

Kelli: Okay, I’m done. Watch who’s coming out behind me…

Me: Who is it?

Kelli: Just watch!

So, I get out of the car, and Kelli is standing at the curb like a teenage girl waiting in line for a New Edition concert to begin.

Moments later, all I could say was holy Robbie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike!*

It was Bobby Brown.

And can I just say And I Will All-Hall Ways Love You, because right behind him was his fur-wearing bride Whitney Houston.

They, too, were doing their Christmas shopping at Target.

And they had lined up behind my bride to pay for their wares.

Kelli was a little too star-struck to be totally nosey and scope out what they were spending their money on.

Maybe next time, especially now that we know where we can find them.

Kelli recounted the following episode as it played out:

Whitney (picking up a tabloid, possibly looking for photos of herself): Oh No! Barbara (Streisand) has cancer! I’m going to have to give her a call! Bobby!

Bobby, (shuffling to the gum rack, to determine his Freshen Up options): Why they talkin’…all this stuff about me…why they don’t jus’ let me liiiiive….

Whitney: BOBBY!

Bobby: What do you want, WHITNEY?

Whitney: Remind me to call Barbra when we get home?

Alas, it was too late, for Bobby had already shuffled off again with his daughter Bobby Jr., to the in-store X-Box station.

I have have nothing but love for Bobby & Whitney.

The first time I ever danced with the woman who would one day become my bride was to Whitney’s I Wanna Dance with Somebody at an end-of-the-summer dance at Craig’s Old Armory.

And who can forget the time when I, as a teenage boy, was connecting with my hip hop side by listening to Bobby’s My Prerogative, when my brother pushed open my bedroom door, and with Aldo Nova’s Life is Just a Fantasy blaring from his room’s stereo speakers, he asked me a question of comparitive music theory, “Are you gay?” 

All I’m saying was that as far as yesterday was concerned, it looked like a certain Atlanta-based, music-recording married couple was trolling the local department store looking for a little gratuitous attention for Christmas.

And my bride and I gave the gift that keeps on giving.

We unapologetically stared as they filled up their black Lexus SUV with yuletide goodies.

We stared and didn’t turn away.

While we were certain we made a love connection with the Brown family, weren’t so certain that we actually followed through on our plans to trail them all the way to their home and open our Target-bought purchases together.

Nonetheless, on behalf of our new friends, the discount-shopping former superstars, we wish you a Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve.

*No disrespect intended, of course, to Johnny, but that goes without saying