B-log

Admit it, you read that title with Phil Collins singing in your brain, didn’t you?

If you didn’t, you do now.

Then again, maybe you’re a fan of the Supremes rendition.

But I digress.

For review, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Your love must be expressed (in action, not words) by verbs that are expressions of time.

If it is not, it’s fair to question if your love is really love at all (at least in terms of how God demonstrates it perfectly and empowers you to reproduce). In fact, the next 8 expressions of love (after patience and kindness) in 1 Corinthians 13 are shown in the negative. They reveal the bad anti-love results that happen when you hurry love:

Jealousy is the thought that you deserve the blessings that someone else has received. Jealousy is the outcome of an inflated self-estimation and a disregard of the other person’s circumstances.  You see other’s blessings and you don’t take the time to understand why that person is blessed. It is a sense of injustice and greed that you want what the other person has. In the context of love, it is simply impossible to be selfless and sacrificial while at the same time being jealous of that same person.

Bragging. This word is used only here in the entire New Testament and it is tied to jealousy. When you brag, you are actually attempting to make others jealous of you. This can never be confused for love. Philippians 2:6-8 reveals that Jesus, “who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!”

When you love others, you don’t brag about yourself. Don’t ever be motivated by the thought of making someone envious of how swell of a person you are. Bragging brings attention to self and is expression of pride.

Arrogance. Arrogance, like bragging, is based in pride. Arrogance is that inclined nose-snobbery that sometimes comes with a sense of accomplishment . Those people who act holier-than-others are making the grave error of placing their emphasis on their part in any spiritual accomplishment, rather than Christ’s grace, mercy, and presence that makes any accomplishment possible. That snobbish elitism is boorish. It contradicts a loving spirit and turns people away from Christ.

Be more like John the Baptist, who totally subjected himself when Jesus arrived on the scene. John had every opportunity to be arrogant. He was the predecessor to the Messiah; he had his own following of believers. Instead, John confessed that he wasn’t even worthy to carry Jesus Christ’s sandals and he said to Jesus, “I must decrease so you can increase.” John was not arrogant because he loved people and he knew and was secure in who God had made him to be.

Unbecomingness. A simple synonym for this is acting rude. Rudeness comes in so many forms, demonstrating both a lack of love and a total lack of respect. Whether you are rude to people by ignoring them, by replying with smart-aleck answers, whether you belittle them, or are just plain mean or insulting, rudeness is the ugly face that proves that love has no home in your heart.

When you start looking at every person as God’s precious creation, remembering that each person is just as valuable to Christ as you are to him, rudeness is replaced with cooperation, patience, care, concern, and ultimately, Christ. 

Seeking Your Own. Seeking your own is also called selfishness. Much of the time, we make good excuses saying things like. “You know, I really do love people, but I don’t want to talk to them about God (or Jesus, or faith, or church, etc). I don’t know what to say, or I might get rejected. Besides, I have to spend Sunday nights getting ready for work.” What you are doing is putting selfish motives (or fears) ahead of the need of that other person. Imagine if Jesus had acted this same way. He never would have left the glory of heaven. He could have said, “You know, I really like it up here. People down there are so mean. I know I’ve got that cross waiting for me, but really, I’m just in no mood to go through that. Besides, I’ve got a lot of other things I can do instead.”

Fortunately for you, Jesus said, “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.( Matthew 20:28)” 

Provocation being incited to anger. If your temper explodes at a moment’s notice, you’ve got a problem. Never minimize your anger with a statement like, “I get angry a lot, but it’s always over in a few moments.” The bombs that destroyed Nagasaki and Hiroshima only took a couple of moments and their devastation was immense. Anger can be just like that.

If you are ever going to be angry, do it biblically. Be angry without sinning. Only get angry at the things that anger God. Be angry at sin. Get mad at injustice. Then, do something about it. Fix it. At the same time, show incredible grace and compassion to other people.

Keeping Account of Wrong Suffered. Garth Brooks has a song called, We bury the hatchet, (but leave the handle stickin out) The Greek verb represented by this antithesis of love is the negative of a permanent recording of an accounting calculation. It’s like the other person’s offense against you is marked down with indelible ink in your life’s ledger, forever unreconcilable.

If you belong to God through faith in Jesus, the record of your offenses against God have been reconciled. They are no longer there.  The Bible declares that every record of your rebellion has been removed as far as the east is from the west. God has forgiven you and remembers your defiance no more. Ephesians 4:32 therefor exhorts, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Rejoicing in Unrighteousness. Finally, the last negative attribute may just be the most evident of a loveless life. Unfortunately, there is no shortage of examples of people who make bad choices. Even or especially Christians. When you catch news of another “good person” making a bad choice, how do you react? If there is any small part of you that rejoices at the misfortune of another (especially if it is self-inflicted), you demonstrate evidence of lovelessness.

This ugly rejoicing may be expressed in many ways: Hoping that others will slip up or fail, Gossiping or tolerating gossip (by the way, tolerating gossip is cowardice), responding to the news of others’ misfortune with a sense of satisfaction or happiness or justice. 

When love is rushed, love is absent.